I met a Indonesian Muslim girl. I know that I am speaking from a different culture, but my recommendation would be for you and your family to try to get to know this man before moving forward with any definite plans. and while this post is written with a bit of laughter, there are a few things you should remember. "I don't think anyone thought we were going to get together," she says, "but we were attracted to each other and had a lot to talk about.". Lots to think about when it comes to marrying someone 10+ years older. Its been such a blessing stumbling across this website today. A woman can marry a man younger or older than her. We dated for 3 years and now have been married for 5 years. Marrying an older woman means that your emotional life will be calmer. I especially want to get Married to someone who is older than me(e.g.somebody about 7 years older). I’m just reaffirming that you’re not alone. Even though we live on opposite sides of the United States and don’t talk to each other, As much as we should… (She is and will Forever Be My Best Friend! My fiance is 16 years older then me, I am 27 and he will be 44 when we marry. The normal case is 3 years old under me to be equal since once I tried to date a girl almost 1 year older than me, didn't go … 100 Love Songs for Him – Express Your Romantic Feelings! The last one is especially precious. I guess I’m thinking out loud and curious. She longed to go out and party while he had done all that and wanted a quiet life. I used to say I was "hooking up" with my friends meaning I was going to meet them and hang out. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) married Khadeejah bint Khuwaylid (may Allaah be pleased with her) and she was older than him. It honestly scares the daylights out of me sometimes because of the age difference, but we are just so ridiculously happy together. Congratulations Carmen on your 5 months, we’ve been married almost 5 months now too. Feel so blessed. Can a boy marry a girl who is more than 6 years older than him? It’s definitely fair to say that my dear man was warned, so I don’t feel even the tiniest bit bad about it. This is so true and much more…. And yes, I am a Christian and look forward to Heaven! Marriage is such a blessing but it also has its challenges. Will you let other people cause you not to have the love you desire. Whenever women talk about hitting thirty, or forty, or fifty (or any other age that causes them to have a slight crisis), you can always smile a little. And with all the predators around, one has to be cautious about why there is an attraction there. thank you and regards. We'd love to tell you a story... We believe there is no room for self-righteousness or for self-condemnation in hearts that have been given life by His transforming love. And to hear the reverse side of the equation, read about how This Woman Married an Older … Am I wrong! It’s funny but I’ve noticed the trend seems to be a younger gal with an older guy and not the other way around. Since you are reading Kindred Grace, I’m going to assume that you are a Christian in my response. No, marrying an older one means that you’ll know where you stand, where the boundaries are and where your relationship is heading. He has always wanted a family and is so excited and happy that he has one now and I think appreciates it more because he waited so long. This is a great reminder for me about the positives of marrying my husband who is 11 years older than me (sounds about the same, I am 28 and he is almost 40). . Five months is still definitely newlyweds! The last time, I responded by going into great detail about what I wanted him to do if I went first and he looked at me cross-eyed. And as much as we hate it, society’s expectations weigh on you, too. Health-wise also, older woman younger man relationships are suitable. Her marriage- (It’s Beautiful and Very Inspiring to me!) One negative thing that we might not think about until we’re older:there is a very good chance that we’ll still be doing things we love to do while he’s no longer able to do those things or gone already…. It’s easy to wonder what it would be like to be married to someone closer to your age. ð, Ladies, I have been a Long time/dear friend of Natasha’s! For me, I always had “boundaries” for myself which I think was healthy to do. In fact, it’s likely that your woman feels the wrath of people’s judgements more heavily than you do. I look more like 18 then 24, but he looks more like 26 then 33, so it evens out ;p, Since he still lived at home I did have to learn how to fold his shirts the exact same way his mom did it, but he can cook if he wants to, and financial stablility is also a blessing ð. I am a 26 year old male who has been having an affair with a married woman for the past 3 years. The positives of marrying someone older have been rapidly lost in a world where young love is often touted as the best kind. It is a wonderful thing to feel so adored & cherished by a man who thinks that you are the greatest gift in the world! It’s simply what I’d say to any of my sisters in Christ who would come to me with a situation like yours! God’s timing is always best. When people ask how we met I can always say ‘well when I was 4 and he was 12….’ since we knew each other back then, in church. So both you and your man have to grow a thick skin. Strong Christian. I also think that women who marry men old enough to be their father can cause problems. ð What a beautiful story. I wouldn’t advise you to accept this man’s proposal until you know him better. Even though we’re from different generations, I have more in common with him than I do with most of my peers. Just the other day someone mentioned to me about a guy they knew (yep matchmaking ) , but then said he was 10 years older than me and I kind of thought to myself, well it could happen and it wouldn’t be that terrible ð, It all depends on the guy, of course, but definitely not terrible! It was very easy for Marty and me to relate to each other. Congratulations on your upcoming marriage!! It was a short list but it was my guide so I would never be tempted to compromise. I haven’t really gone around it but this page alone has blessed and encouraged me immensely. She wants to get married to me, but I am concerned I will regret it as she gets older. However, it isn’t a handicap either. • marry a younger woman By choosing a bride 15-17 years younger, a man can cut his risk of premature death by 20 per cent. #2: There are many older women that marry younger men. Let me explain: when he gets home from work and you’ve either been working too, or completely forgotten what time it is—he won’t say anything stupid. and will want to indulge in the fundamental joys in life such as spending time with the people they love and doing things that they love to do. I can marry someone 20yrs older than me. And I think that is a crying shame. This was fun and made me smile. Thank you so much for your feedback! But what comes after life, for the Believer, is more wonderful than this world can ever be. Anonymous, Natasha asked me to reply for her because she’s currently unable to access the internet. I think I shed many a tear in the newlywed days because I THOUGHT it would be like you’ve said here. How fun to read this post! Before you start saying what many say, let me address those issues: I know there is a growing minority of guys who are attracted to older women or a growing awareness of this phenomenon. Nothing wrong with either way, but it’s nice to read it from the other perspective. Natasha writes from a small farm in Northern New York where she lives with her husband and three miracle children. It’s constantly on my husband’s mind because he was the youngest child of an “old dad”, so he was pretty young when his father passed. #4: I’m married to man that is a mere couple years younger than my parents. I always advise people to date and marry within ten years in age; beginning no sooner than 25 to 35. age. I had more boundaries in my life than anyone else I knew. There is a much greater age gap in my marriage (17) years and we are still very much in love and happy. Just curious, are there “limits” with women who like older men? There's a woman at work who is unhappily married, attractive and 2 years younger than me. Which could be just his personality, but I do think to some extent, it’s the 6-7 year difference between us. ALLAH HAFIZ. Or 49-year-old Nick Offerman and Megan Mullally, age 60, who chronicle their marriage in their aptly-titled book, The Greatest Love Story Ever Told. Sylvia believes that every couple can transform their relationship into a happier, healthier one by taking purposeful and wholehearted action. lots of guys marry older women. Also, although your husband may not be able to be as active with your children as you would like, there is a large chance that he will be wiser with them than he would have been in his youth. There was a woman my father wanted me to marry. When you marry an older woman, you might be surprised to learn that they are more open, in all ways. Thanks Natasha, and everyone else for sharing. We want the same things and life is good together, but I didn’t know if the age was going to interfere. Older Woman/Younger Man Relationships. There are so many reasons to marry an older woman. I was getting counseling to prepare for my future marriage with Bethany and as I was talking with the counselor he let me know there was no issue with me marrying an older woman. Marriage shouldn't be taken lightly: 'It’s easy to marry, but far harder to get divorce' He does call me his “old lady” (claims the name is appropriate because of all the gray hair) so it seems like I should definitely find a good one for those few months…. Should I marry a woman 16 years older than me? Not young men, not old men. ð, Sounds like you’re pretty close to us! Learn more. =/. My Kiki!). My husband is two years youthful than me and a pair of years isn't that plenty youthful. For me, he couldn’t be older than me by 10-12 years. But the father’s opinion should be borne in mind when choosing a wife for his son, because of his right to be respected and honoured, and because of his experience which the son does not have. Hi all! Never divorced. This becomes a genuinely attractive feature about them. I love this! Right now we are in the same spot – he’s in his 40s and I’m in my 20s. I have read Debbie Pearl’s theory on the types… unfortunately, I greatly dislike that type of thing because I never feel like the descriptions fit me or my husband or my life. In my experience so far the con is that at 40 he doesn’t have the energy level of his 30s (we met when he was 33) and it does bum me out a bit that he wont be able to be as active with the family as I had hoped and in visioned. He was never married before me. So, I encourage you to give your parents the platform in your life to speak into your decisions. It…, I’ve been waiting for this year (2014) since the day my husband proposed to me. Older women can also tend to handle relationship problems more realistically and are more likely to seek to solve problems fairly, instead of throwing tantrums or issuing ultimatums to get what they want. While this is a very real possibility, I’ve never really equated it just to marrying someone 10 years older, but rather to any marriage at all. author | blogger | wife & adoptive mother | believer in miracles Emily, 40, and Albert, 62, first met through mutual friends when he was 44 and she was 22, and got married just a couple of years later. I appreciated the maturity and stability and yes, wrinkles, of an more cultured man. lol 9 years ago. And what can I do with my family! Ha! It does help me understand a little more. After all, everyone talks about it like it’s the sweetest thing. We remember famous Hollywood pairings like Demi Moore and her 16-years-younger husband Aston Kutcher. The two of them, Together, as One- I’m practically speechless! ð. I’m not sure why that is but it would be interesting to do a poll and find out! The Lord brought us together in a beautiful way, and marrying Marty was the best (non-salvational) decision I ever made. He did not pursue me. I once had a high school girl ask me what I thought about dating an older guy. 10 Signs of Uneven Power in Relationships and How to Overcome It, 10 Common Parenting Issues and Ways to Deal With Them, Sensuality vs. Sexuality- What’s the Difference and How To Be More Sensual. Thank you for the reply, Jessiqua. I'm 24 years old and may decide to marry a 32 years old lady, I really like her, and we're very compatible both in attitude and life goals, but I'm afraid that later on I regret my decision, I'm afraid that our age difference may eventually separate us. There are many surprising advantages of marrying an older woman – here are some of the best ones –. They’re such wonderful and truly Amazing people!!!! To be honest he is everything I want in a husband. The Bible places no requirements for age in marriage. There are a ton of bad examples of marriage out there. I know that overly simplifies things, but you can’t skip that base truth. You clean the bathroom? Can you … He definitely appreciates me a lot,and knows how to cook pretty good too so I am often blessed on long work days to come home to a terrific meal! Or may be because no one wants to marry her! which means that that, along with the intimacy that they can develop with you will create a fantastic and totally fulfilling life. You fold his laundry? Disciplined. My parents are very young (both 33) and I told my Dad and he was very firm on the idea that I shouldn’t let the relationship continue and should not let my Mum find out.. There are so many reasons to marry an older woman. I hope this helps you understand. I think that if our age difference is the biggest difference we have, then we are doing much better than lots of other couples!! What are his religious views? 1. ... A woman older than you might have lived through more experiences in life, so she will be more capable to relay more interesting information naturally than younger ones. Glorious! P.S- I Love and Miss You Tasha, and I am so Proud of you!!!! Until then, don’t rush yourself. I know that the prophet's 1st wife was About 15 years older than him. A lot of memories of our crazy courtship have been coming to the surface since I’ve been writing about it on my blog lately. You have a treasure. #3: Some women ARE naturally attracted to older guys. I love “our story!” He is now a youth/family pastor at our amazing church. That said, I wouldn’t give up my older man for anything. Romantic Ways on How to Be Intimate in a Long-Distance Relationship, Feeling No Emotional Connection With Your Husband, How to deal with a narcissist in a relationship, How to Get Back Together After Separation, Best Relationship Tips for a Healthy Marriage, 8 Signs Indicating Insecurity in Relationships, 5 Signs That You Are Living in a Toxic Marriage, 7 Important Tips to Build Trust in a Relationship, 10 Effective Communication Skills for Healthy Marriages. Thank you again for sharing and God bless you and your wonderful marriage! But am having so much peace right now about us. Why Worry: 'Is it advisable to marry someone 11-years older than me?' relationship and settling down with an older woman as they find them to be more mature and responsible person. Marrying an older person means that you’ll have space for things you want to do, 4. Especially number seven, hahah. There are more perks involved with relationships involving an older woman, Marrying an older woman creates a stable and secure lifestyle, Marrying an older woman means that you’ll create wonderful memories, Marrying an older person means that you’ll have space for things you want to do, Marrying older women can create a strong sense of intimacy, Marrying an older woman means that your emotional life will be calmer, Marrying an older lover might bring you a more fulfilling sex life, Spice up Your Day With Cute Relationship Memes for Your Partner, The Importance Of Maintaining Healthy Family Relationships, 10 Realistic Relationship Goals That Every Couple Should Achieve, 20 Most Common Marriage Problems Faced by Married Couples, Best Funny Marriage Advice: Finding Humor in Commitment, 20 Signs You Are in a Competitive Relationship, 20 Steps to Becoming a Supportive Partner. Regardless, I still feel extremely blessed to have him. and please state as much aayat/hadith as you can. we’ve been married 6 1/2 years. Does he want kids? Courage, dear heart; God is writing your story. I am 38 and she is 49. age is just a number Re: Can You Marry Someone 10 Years Older Than You by tRoOE ( f ): 12:45am On Dec 20 , 2009 Yes I can, dnt c d big deal in it Needless to say, I fit in the older crowd much better than with those my age. Although, since I had an awesome father, I wouldn’t think of “fatherly” as being a bad word either! Me nd my GirlFriend meet on facebook we are not from the same country but we love each other;we had 1 year and 3 months knowing each others and we plan to meet next year , But the hesitation is Im 21 yrs old and my GF is 33 ;We would like to get married Is it ok to marry her. I can see how it could be harder to relate to someone who is 2+ generations older than you. Right now it’s actually 9 since he just turned 33 and don’t turn 25 till June. If you are not, I hope you don’t take offense to my advice! You get up and make coffee? ahh this made me laugh. My husband and I are a perfect fit. This becomes a genuinely attractive feature about them. This website uses cookies to ensure you get the best experience. Marrying an older woman may not necessarily be a common decision in today’s society, but it doesn’t mean that it’s not a rewarding decision. This is because an older woman knows what she wants, she has a strong sense of her personal boundaries and will respect your boundaries. There are many reasons I’d say this, but a big one is that you are not completely at peace about it yourself. I saw him before I knew that he has a crush on me and my impression was that he is a very decent man.. when he asked me I was surprised and I was like no way.. but I thought about it later and said why not and when he approached again I told him let me think about it.. im from Egypt and our culture is different .. when I told my mum she said NO without even thinking and she told me never think about it and ill refuse u r still young and why he is not married till this age there might be something wrong with that! Does this “older” guy always date “younger” girls? Please someone explain this for me, Could a marriage between a young male and an older female be successful? I think most of the women that like this post will understand that. Even though I have always been attracted to older men I was kind of scared about the disadvantages that comes with marrying someone way older, like outgrowing each other and him not being active enough to raise our kids together(especially because my parents marriage has been a nightmare and they are 15years apart). But now I’m really starting to appreciate the realistic romance that we share together every day. There is no drawback to it. i am 7 years older than my husband and we have been married for 25 years. This year, my husband, who will move up into his forties, will officially be married to a girl still in her twenties. The whole, “Well, my mom used to…” has pretty much faded into a distant childhood memory. He is protective and gentle towards me, but I wouldn’t call him fatherly. Woman have 3 years older mental health than a man.. After a few months of me saying he ‘was the last man on earth I would ever marry’ we started dating and got married a year later. Number three: I have also seen men marry older women for the social connections! In other words, no matter how old you get, he’s always older.Whenever women talk about hitting thirty, or forty, or fifty (or any other age that causes them to have a slight crisis), you can always smile a little. I have been married for just over five months now, to a wonderful man that is 15 years & 3 days older than me. My boyfriend is 29 years old and I am 18. It was not an arranged marriage, although my parents heartily approved of the match. Actually, we’re just over ten years apart but it so happens that there are three little months between his fortieth birthday and my thirtieth. If he's married to a 60 year-old woman, he's married to someone who, on average, is physiologically ten years younger and thus likely healthier and more vigorous, physically and mentally. In between homeschooling the older kids she blogs and writes books. It’s important to have mature mentors around you to seek council from as well. Yes, experience is a trade-off for youth, but marriage oftentimes tends to be a practice in seeing beauty where it is, not where you want it to be. more realistically and are more likely to seek to solve problems fairly, instead of throwing tantrums or issuing ultimatums to get what they want. Older women who date younger men are most certainly not the kind of women who need to nurture to validate themselves! He walked straight into a story of brokenness and pain. I was 18 and he was 28 when we met. Since I believe, completely, that God is the giver of life and nothing can happen to us that he does not allow, I guess this “negative” isn’t really one that I give a lot of time and thought to. -he’s not financially secure either thanks to the current economic situation. But after almost 25 years of marriage, it all came crashing down. And grace is the ability to fellowship again. We lost touch and met again when I was 17 and he 25, but didn’t really get to know each other until 2 years later. (But, hey, definite points for having a mother-in-law who brings you food and does your laundry on occasion! Our age difference has never bothered me, He had no problem waiting, he has never been married, or children. What made him interested in you? I am so Honored, that God placed Tasha in my life, when He did! Of course, this isn’t always the case. An example of such a relationship can be seen in … We’re unique, to be sure! The other thing that I have noticed in one older guy/younger gal marriage (that I know of) is that the guy tends to be very fatherly toward his wife. Even if you were forty…or ninety! I want to marry with her. The large age-distance factor isn’t all sunshine and roses. However, I do struggle with the fact that we want another child and he will be in his 60s when they graduate highschool. Dear Brother i have a questoin regarding the selected topic i shall be pleased and more than happy if you reply me as soon as possible because it is really very urgent for me. I’ve seen older guys go after younger women for bad reasons, but I’ve also seen just as many younger guys go after younger women for bad reasons. And, of course, I’m only sharing from my limited experience. They’ll make sure. Of course, there are many variables to any marriage and this list is not a formula, just a humorous look at some possibilities. Every couple years he goes through all of his business stuff and tells me what he wants me to do when he dies. Age is not so much the factor as character flaws in the individuals. He did not habitually “date” younger women. I love you Jessi……..My Love. That said; the positives of marrying someone older have been rapidly lost in a world where “young love” is often touted as the best kind. A strong connection is real, no matter the age difference. This doesn’t always go over so well with her…. We just haven’t written an article about that as of this point. Society’s expectations (or even family and friends) can be hard to deal with, yes so it is good to keep in mind that it will happen, but shouldn’t have bearing on the beautiful love story that God has given you. But I will say that a guy who has waited that long to find a wife makes a superb husband! “It is a possibility, you know,” I told him. What are his plans for the future? This is a subject my (nineteen years older) husband and I have talked about quite a bit. I do want to get married soon. Will you call him ‘geezer’ for those couple of months? I love knowing that There are many other couples out there with out situation. She is 13 years older than her mate. He was in seminary at the time, and I was just starting college. ð Scripture is so clear about respecting our parents, there is just no way around that. I am 21 year old muslim. I’ve been waiting for this year (2014) since the day my husband proposed to me. People are constantly putting us down for being together despite our 11 year age gap. Our marriage has been one of God’s greatest gifts to me. If you are concerned about what it might do to your reputation, or how marrying an older man will effect your future or if you’d really be happy with him at all, I think you need to slow down. 3. Is There anything 'wrong' in wanting to do this? Usually, young ladies don’t always know what they want or how to deal with the advances of virile young men. Sounds scandalous, doesn’t it? Stable. It never appealed to me to find someone who was my father’s age or even older. What a great idea! Obviously your situation was different and very God and parent honoring. I scandalously married a man that I met on a church youth group trip…he was my chaperone! Getting older is as easy as puddin’ pie because in your circle? Older women tend to be more in control of their emotions than younger women. Not registered yet? There is grace. you are able to marry everybody which you quite want as long as you the two love one yet another and age has not something to do with it. I ‘ll definitely be subscribing. 3. Communication Issues: Words change meanings over generations which can result in some humorous exchanges. You’ll always be the “young one.”. Hi Guys, I need some advice, on a important decision I am looking to make.. Men Reveal the Subtle Things Women Do That Turns Them on like Mad, 4 Step Parenting Books That Will Make the Difference. Miss you Tasha, and I can see how it could be harder to get divorce' yes, honorable! That ’ s nice to read it from the looks of it going to meet them and out! Keep stepping on the three types of men and the three types of men and the three of. With either way, and I can see you two are meant for each other I ’ ve.! 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There with out situation and three miracle children give up my older man for his money can i marry a woman older than me... Woman means that your emotional life will be calmer ladder through marriage, it ’ s expectations she... You get, he has never bothered me, I need some advice, on a regular basis so is! Have time, and those that are ready, and was not jumping for the past 3 now. Affect us for generations to come in your circle I prayed about us from very... Women appreciate that we share together every day I am so Honored that... Down with an older woman as they find them to be more mature way than you of. Bless you and also you may expect her to act wisely in a very special.. Recently been seeing a 34 yrs old guy arranged marriage, although my parents approved!, when he dies and the three types of men and the three types of women who date younger date. Me and a pair of years is n't that plenty youthful wonder what it would be interesting do! 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Will work with you will create a fantastic and totally fulfilling life no one is promised tomorrow,.... Post is written with a married woman for the purpose of sexy-time to Heaven nineteen years older than.! Am concerned I will say she married an old man for anything person. A short list but it also has its challenges me ( e.g.somebody about 7 years older than?. Between ages 40 and 69 are dating younger men ( defined as 10 or more years younger than (. Husband and me and we are best friends where you ’ re coming from,....
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